AITAH for sitting at a picnic table without explicitly asking?
I am going to try to lay this out exactly as I remember it, because I feel that this person’s response was completely bonkers. I regularly go to a skate/bike park near our home with my son. He’s 3 and is great on his bike. We work a lot on park etiquette (before you call me an AH for bringing him there). But he’s 3, so I need to stay nearby and watch/assist.
At this park in particular, there are no benches and only one picnic table in view. We come here almost every day, and it’s an unwritten rule that you share the only table (if you’re just sitting and watching, not eating or having a picnic).
Yesterday I went to the park with my son. It was around 7 pm, so not busy. There was one woman sitting at the picnic table, facing away from the table and toward the park. She was on the phone. She didn’t have any bags or food on the table. I approached and awkwardly waited behind her. I didn’t want to interrupt her phone call, but I was going to answer a few emails on my laptop and wanted to use the table. Eventually, she turned around, annoyed, said “I can’t talk now,” then hung up the phone. I apologized and gestured that I wanted to sit down. She said, “It’s okay, I already hung up”, then walked away. I said sorry again, but she just scoffed and left, so I opened my computer.
After walking to the edge of the park, she stopped and turned around. Then she took out her phone, came back, and started blasting music from YouTube on her phone. She put it in the middle of the table. At this point, I was like wtf is she passive-aggressively trying to get me to move?
But whatever, I just kept working and ignored her.
Then she TURNED UP THE VOLUME.
At this point, I’m annoyed. Her tinny speakers are obnoxious, and the music was inappropriate. It was rap, and saying some weird stuff. Not swearing, but talking about explicit sex details. I’m not a prude, but… c’mon, it was weird (think like, Sweet Spot by JB and Sexyy Red).
I took a deep breath and decided to call her out. Because I hate when I read stuff and ask, “Why didn’t they just say something?”
I asked, “Are you doing that because you don’t want to share the table?”
Woman: “No, I just want to listen to my music in a public park.”
Me: This is obviously a lie.
Then I ask: “Do you want me to move?”
Her: “No, I just want to listen to my music like this.”
Me: “This is really kind of strange. You can just tell me if sitting here makes you uncomfortable.”
Her: <No response>
Me: I’m not moving if this woman is going to be a bully.
So I pull out my headphones and keep working. At this point, I think she’s just crazy, and I’m going to wait her out. I come here every day, and she isn’t using the table. It’s public. I can sit here. There’s nowhere else to sit. There is grass, but it’s very sharp and uncomfortable, so EVERYBODY SHARES THIS TABLE.
15 mins later, her husband drives up. He looks at the phone on the table, listens to the music, then asks her what’s going on. Then she starts talking about how I am stealing her table and scaring her and her kids.
So I get mad. “What are you talking about? I’m just sitting. I asked if you wanted me to move, and you ignored me. Please act like an adult and use your words.”
Then she mutters some more and starts making comments about my son and how he shouldn’t be there because he’s young.
Meanwhite, he’s riding a legit mountain bike (it’s hard to find a 14″ BMX that doesn’t cost $500) and going over the features, waiting his turn. He comes here a lot. He’s actually pretty good.
Her kids are on damn scooters just cruising through the middle of the park.
So I’m really mad now.
“We have just as much of a right to be here as you. There is only one table, and unless you need the space for something, I am going to share it.”
And she starts going off again.
I did make a couple of comments, saying, “I hope this isn’t what you teach your kids”, when she started questioning my son. BUT I never swore. Never called her names (well, okay, when she turned up the music, I said she was acting like a kid having a tantrum). But I never said anything aggressive.
Maybe I was scary? I was pretty serious, and I laughed at her when she insisted she just wanted to listen to music. I’m a 30-something woman. She was definitely 40-something. This was just so crazy to me, I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want her to think it was okay. I was trying to stand up for myself.
Eventually, my son calls me over because his chain comes off. We fix it. Then he wants to ride to the lake. Obviously, he’s smarter than I am and got me out of there.
So AITAH?
I understand that she may have been annoyed that I didn’t explicitly ask to sit down. But I apologized, and she left, so I thought it was implied that it was okay. Also, given it was the only table and that she wasn’t actually using it (she couldn’t even SEE me sitting there because she was facing away), I’m pretty sure her response was BONKERS.
What should I have done? I started writing an angry FB post, but deleted it because publicly shaming would definitely make me the AH. But I HATE bullies, and I HATE feeling like I should have said something when I didn’t.
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?! HELP ME! I GO TO THIS PARK EVERY DAY!
TLDR; I sat at the only picnic table at a park when a lady was on a phone, facing away, not using the table or paying attention. She got mad and started playing loud YouTube music on her phone, turning up the volume when I ignored her. I asked if she wanted me to move, and she said, “She just wanted to listen to her music like this”. It was super strange. It escalated, and she said some weird stuff. I ended up leaving, but stuck it out for a while because I’m stubborn and didn’t want to let her bully me. AITAH? What would you have done?
Edit: Thank you, all. Some good life advice in here. I feel much better and can lock this away now. I really needed input on this one. I felt like I was going crazy.
